Hey man,
I'm not too good at this sentimental stuff (ask my wife) - but I'll try my best and you can let me know how I did.
First of all, I think it's important to applaud the guts you've shown by putting this out there. I think as a culture we've gotten a lot better about mental health, and I think it's terrific you have the comfort level with this board as a collective group to share what you are going through.
To comment on your last statement - please do not stop sharing unless you feel you need to stop, or if you're not getting anything out of it. This stuff is healthy.
Second, I remember seeing some of your first posts on the board and thinking "goddamn, another kid." While we've been typing at one another across the internet for the past 7 or 8 years, gauging by your internet persona it seems to me you've become a really solid dude with a genuine intent to share good information and help people along.
Don't lose sight of that, it will get you far in life.
Third, I can relate to your hockey journey - at my lowest point, I was benched for most of my last eligible year of junior, then cut right before playoffs. I moved on to play super low division ACHA with a terrible college team and put a lot of our losses on myself - "I should be better because I've had formal goalie coaching" etc etc was a thought that always ran through my head.
Point being - it's easy to recount the lows and the failures, but I think what's more important is that you focus on what you did learn during your playing career. As I've moved in my professional life from a sales person to a manager, I have found a couple things in sports (and goalie-ing) that translate extremely well to the professional world:
Ability to work collaboratively with a team
Ability to work independently with your own functions while contributing to the team
Ability to take coaching and development conversations seriously
Working through adversity, ability to grind out work
Breaking down complex ideas into more palatable bites
Discipline and being able to keep yourself on track
Saying the right things at the right times
Attention to detail
Overall drive and intensity.
For goalies in particular, I think high level achievers are uniquely calibrated to self-assess and constantly seek and pursue methods of self-improvement.
Also for goalies in particular (especially the gear-interested ones) seem to have a higher level of technical curiosity (ie. they want to learn why things work a certain way), they will learn it and be able to explain it back.
I have so many stories of folks we've hired that have not been able to put any of those skills above together for a consistent period of time (or at all...I've got some insane true stories).
So while it's very clear to me you've been given a raw deal with your current situation, I encourage you to keep your head up. To play a high level of hockey, you've developed a lot of very important intangibles that will stand out when you move into civilian life.