Jump to content

"Clean"

ULTIMA

By ULTIMA
in Chirp Zone

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 141
  • Created
  • Last Reply
motowngoalie Proficient

motowngoalie

Posted
Posted

The other thing that's downright comical in predictability is player interviews. "So, player XYZ, how do you feel about XYZ player/team/upcoming game?" 

"Well, uhhh, obviously great *fill in blank generic praise*, but yeah, it's in our building, and we have the best fans in the league. Play a full 60 minutes, get pucks in deep and a few bounces will go our way. Tilt the ice in our favor and yeah, I think we'll be okay."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Moose75 Proficient

Moose75

Posted
Posted

Hockey player interviews in a nutshell:

-blank stare into the distance

-sweaty, dripping brow with red mark on forehead from ill-fitting helmet

-still catching their breath

-hands on hips

-awkward head tilts or face scratching 

-"um" every other word

-"uh" every other word

-"for sure" every third sentence

-"pucks on net" / "pucks deep"

I've seen cardboard with more personality than 95% of the pro guys. I bet they take classes on how to handle the media though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Moose75 Proficient

Moose75

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, WillyGrips13 said:

Sports interviews in general are the biggest waste of time and oxygen. And the interviewers play right into it with their predictable, leading questions. Really Bryzgalov should do all the interviews in all of sports. 

and that Jaguars player who trashed most of the quarterbacks before the season. I love that ignorant level of honesty.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Max27 Veteran

Max27

Posted
Posted
45 minutes ago, Moose75 said:

Hockey player interviews in a nutshell:

-blank stare into the distance

-sweaty, dripping brow with red mark on forehead from ill-fitting helmet

-still catching their breath

-hands on hips

-awkward head tilts or face scratching 

-"um" every other word

-"uh" every other word

-"for sure" every third sentence

-"pucks on net" / "pucks deep"

I've seen cardboard with more personality than 95% of the pro guys. I bet they take classes on how to handle the media though.

Idk if youve ever watched him but Anthony Beauvillier of the NYI is the WORST with the ¨Uh¨ ¨Um¨ after every word 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kayen Community Regular

Kayen

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Moose75 said:

Hockey player interviews in a nutshell:

-blank stare into the distance

-sweaty, dripping brow with red mark on forehead from ill-fitting helmet

-still catching their breath

-hands on hips

-awkward head tilts or face scratching 

-"um" every other word

-"uh" every other word

-"for sure" every third sentence

-"pucks on net" / "pucks deep"

I've seen cardboard with more personality than 95% of the pro guys. I bet they take classes on how to handle the media though.

This video is super relevant haha

Also part 2:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lucky Pucker Veteran

Lucky Pucker

Posted
Posted

Interviews for sure - actually, almost everything in a broadcast that is said outside of the 60 minutes of play.

However, my pet peeve in the broadcasts is the statistics. Not the big one like wins or losses, not the interesting ones like a player who had 40 goals or more in each of the last 4 seasons. I mean the specific-to-the-point-of-meaningless stats that some network guy's wife's math student cousin pulls out for the colour guy to bring up when the ice is being scraped. Nobody needs to know who has the most points among left-handed players under 5'10" who have at least 4 vowels in their name, use white tape on their blade, are lactose intolerant, and have garbage collection on Tuesdays.

It's even worse when it's to support homerism, like they do on RDS broadcasts, to pander to the Quebec market. They'll pull out some wildly zany and useless set of conditions, just to show that "the leader" among, for example, players born on February 29th, who wear a skate size smaller than size 8 is from Quebec (which now that I think about it, might actually be true, as Henri Richard was born on February 29th...) But I digress.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mroy31 Experienced

Mroy31

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Lucky Pucker said:

Interviews for sure - actually, almost everything in a broadcast that is said outside of the 60 minutes of play.

However, my pet peeve in the broadcasts is the statistics. Not the big one like wins or losses, not the interesting ones like a player who had 40 goals or more in each of the last 4 seasons. I mean the specific-to-the-point-of-meaningless stats that some network guy's wife's math student cousin pulls out for the colour guy to bring up when the ice is being scraped. Nobody needs to know who has the most points among left-handed players under 5'10" who have at least 4 vowels in their name, use white tape on their blade, are lactose intolerant, and have garbage collection on Tuesdays.

It's even worse when it's to support homerism, like they do on RDS broadcasts, to pander to the Quebec market. They'll pull out some wildly zany and useless set of conditions, just to show that "the leader" among, for example, players born on February 29th, who wear a skate size smaller than size 8 is from Quebec (which now that I think about it, might actually be true, as Henri Richard was born on February 29th...) But I digress.

He's 8 for 13 this year, against left-handers, in night games, played above the Mason-Dixon line.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kayen Community Regular

Kayen

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Lucky Pucker said:

Interviews for sure - actually, almost everything in a broadcast that is said outside of the 60 minutes of play.

However, my pet peeve in the broadcasts is the statistics. Not the big one like wins or losses, not the interesting ones like a player who had 40 goals or more in each of the last 4 seasons. I mean the specific-to-the-point-of-meaningless stats that some network guy's wife's math student cousin pulls out for the colour guy to bring up when the ice is being scraped. Nobody needs to know who has the most points among left-handed players under 5'10" who have at least 4 vowels in their name, use white tape on their blade, are lactose intolerant, and have garbage collection on Tuesdays.

It's even worse when it's to support homerism, like they do on RDS broadcasts, to pander to the Quebec market. They'll pull out some wildly zany and useless set of conditions, just to show that "the leader" among, for example, players born on February 29th, who wear a skate size smaller than size 8 is from Quebec (which now that I think about it, might actually be true, as Henri Richard was born on February 29th...) But I digress.

I don't know if you deal with any of the Oilers radio broadcast, but instead of calling the actual play they'll go off into constant tangents about some obscure family relation or whatever about some player who's dad played for so and so, and his cousin played there and his best friend owns a pizza shop somewhere... all the while missing out on what's actually happening on the play... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lucky Pucker Veteran

Lucky Pucker

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, Kayen said:

I don't know if you deal with any of the Oilers radio broadcast, but instead of calling the actual play they'll go off into constant tangents about some obscure family relation or whatever about some player who's dad played for so and so, and his cousin played there and his best friend owns a pizza shop somewhere... all the while missing out on what's actually happening on the play... 

So wait - Pierre McGuire does Oilers radio broadcasts...?

LOL!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MTH Grand Master

MTH

Posted
Posted
On 10/5/2018 at 9:40 PM, WillyGrips13 said:

Sports interviews in general are the biggest waste of time and oxygen. And the interviewers play right into it with their predictable, leading questions. Really Bryzgalov should do all the interviews in all of sports. 

Bryz all day.

There are exceptions like Bryz.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SaveByRichter35 Grand Master

SaveByRichter35

Posted
Posted
On 10/4/2018 at 10:23 AM, Kayen said:

Debatable, we can carry out with whatever diction we want. Hockey isn't necessarily a serious environment, hence no need to carry ourselves out in such a stiff manner I suppose. 
SNIPE CELLY WHEEL BOYZ

Edit: Especially beer league hockey, we're just there to have fun. 

And in the normal adult English language that means "score", "celebrate", no fucking clue, "boys"  ?

On 10/5/2018 at 4:41 PM, seagoal said:

On a corollary point,  can I add Pierre McGuire calling Vegas games during replays:  "pay attention to #81 in green.  Watch how he...."

No.  No.  No, Pierre.  There's no green in their uniforms, nor on their jersey, nor in their logo.  It's grey.  Grey is not green and green is not grey.  You've repeatedly done this since last season and again last night.   Just stop.  It's not green.

On 10/5/2018 at 6:00 PM, Moose75 said:

Some 3rd line dude scores a goal.

Pierre, loud as the 7th Trumpet of Revelation: "WHAT A GOAL FOR [X] FROM FROGBALLS, ARKANSAS. PLAYED FOR COACH DICK TRICKLE ON THE CUCAMONGA KUMQUATS FROM THE NO-HL! THE PEOPLE OF FROGBALLS, ARKANSAS WILL BE SO PROUD OF [X]!! He shows poise and the presence of mind to get to the net and"

Don't get me started on that dickhead look alike.  I can't wait for the day that he retires.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Moose75 Proficient

Moose75

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, SaveByRichter35 said:

Don't get me started on that dickhead look alike.  I can't wait for the day that he retires.

He's an actual dickhead off TV. One of my teammates had a kid that played his son's team. Apparently he yells at his kid and thinks the coaching staff gets the lines wrong, etc. He's just like on TV with his criticism and assholery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Lucky Pucker Veteran

Lucky Pucker

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Moose75 said:

He's an actual dickhead off TV. One of my teammates had a kid that played his son's team. Apparently he yells at his kid and thinks the coaching staff gets the lines wrong, etc. He's just like on TV with his criticism and assholery.

Man. You know it doesn't take much for me to think "yup, I hate that Johnny John-John fecker."

Then, as I try to be mature, and work on the things my wife thinks need improvement in my otherwise perfect personality, I sorta check myself, and think "well, I don't actually know them from Adam... maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should reserve judgement."

But then you get something like this about someone you had suspicions about, and think maybe my instincts are right after all. I just started helping out with my son's Novice team, and to think that someone would yell at coaches there, let alone the kids... that just turns my stomach.

As per the oft-repeated riposte on McGuire, there's a reason (reasons, even) nobody in the NHL has hired him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...