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The Old Man Thread


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12 minutes ago, Naz said:

Welcome Dumpy!  What level of Curmudgeon-ness do you have?

My nickname comes from being called “Grumpy Dumpy”. I can’t get the hang of this TV streaming crap despite knowing full and well that subscription TV is ripping me off. I call the police if I hear anything that disturbs me including loud music outside in the summertime, fireworks, or if someone parks in front of my house. The world has moved on without seeking my consent. Today’s music is noise; give me Marvin Gaye or Barry White over any of these clowns who screech and howl over tunes I used to enjoy. Can’t stand today’s warmed over remakes of classic movies. Coffee and beer are now fufu. 

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I'll respond, being one of the grand-masters of this club  (I think @Wonder35 is the only one that presently has me beat):

First: I'll fix your last comments

On 7/13/2020 at 8:45 AM, Dumpy said:

.... I can’t get the hang of this TV streaming steaming crap ..

Second: I'll warn you of a dangerous mistake you made - your comment "Can’t stand today’s warmed over remakes of classic movies." Whoo - DO NOT use the term "remake" in front of people under 30 - I don't know why but you'd be safer insulting their mother, car, S/O anything but saying that. I once told a bunch of ~ 25 year-olds that "Star Trek" Into Darkness was a remake of "The Wrath of Khan" (I didn't even say "shitty remake", which it was) - barely got out of the place alive - and 75% of the people that were openly hostile about it were relatives...

From your comments you seem to have what it takes, but as Jimmy asked "Are you experienced?" Do you have the age debilitating wounds that make you a true curmudgeon? Do you need to get up to pee at night? Do you have to eat fiber. Do you subconsciously know the shortest route to the closest restroom in any given store or mall? Do you remember the disappointment that came with breaking a yo-yo string? Do you still have burn marks on your fingers form that first Xmas wood-burning kit (what evil parent would give that to a kid and think it was OK to sen them off on their own and learn how to use it?)

Show us what ya got!

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13 minutes ago, Colander said:

I'll respond, being one of the grand-masters of this club  (I think @Wonder35 is the only one that presently has me beat):

First: I'll fix your last comments

Second: I'll warn you of a dangerous mistake you made - your comment "Can’t stand today’s warmed over remakes of classic movies." Whoo - DO NOT use the term "remake" in front of people under 30 - I don't know why but you'd be safer insulting their mother, car, S/O anything but saying that. I once told a bunch of ~ 25 year-olds that "Star Trek" Into Darkness was a remake of "The Wrath of Khan" (I didn't even say "shitty remake", which it was) - barely got out of the place alive - and 75% of the people that were openly hostile about it were relatives...

From your comments you seem to have what it takes, but as Jimmy asked "Are you experienced?" Do you have the age debilitating wounds that make you a true curmudgeon? Do you need to get up to pee at night? Do you have to eat fiber. Do you subconsciously know the shortest route to the closest restroom in any given store or mall? Do you remember the disappointment that came with breaking a yo-yo string? Do you still have burn marks on your fingers form that first Xmas wood-burning kit (what evil parent would give that to a kid and think it was OK to sen them off on their own and learn how to use it?)

Show us what ya got!

I will add another.  Do you have any scars from Lawn Darts?

Have you yelled at kids to get off your front lawn?
Mostly, do you grunt/groan whenever to sit down, or get up?

Welcome!

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14 minutes ago, Colander said:

I'll respond, being one of the grand-masters of this club  (I think @Wonder35 is the only one that presently has me beat):

First: I'll fix your last comments

Second: I'll warn you of a dangerous mistake you made - your comment "Can’t stand today’s warmed over remakes of classic movies." Whoo - DO NOT use the term "remake" in front of people under 30 - I don't know why but you'd be safer insulting their mother, car, S/O anything but saying that. I once told a bunch of ~ 25 year-olds that "Star Trek" Into Darkness was a remake of "The Wrath of Khan" (I didn't even say "shitty remake", which it was) - barely got out of the place alive - and 75% of the people that were openly hostile about it were relatives...

From your comments you seem to have what it takes, but as Jimmy asked "Are you experienced?" Do you have the age debilitating wounds that make you a true curmudgeon? Do you need to get up to pee at night? Do you have to eat fiber. Do you subconsciously know the shortest route to the closest restroom in any given store or mall? Do you remember the disappointment that came with breaking a yo-yo string? Do you still have burn marks on your fingers form that first Xmas wood-burning kit (what evil parent would give that to a kid and think it was OK to sen them off on their own and learn how to use it?)

Show us what ya got!

I have to eat fibre. I am so old that the gym teacher over-looked it when you gave a bully the “what for” in floor hockey and even shook your hand for handing the bully his ass. My back is bad really bad. Beer was cheap, plentiful and tasted fine from huge breweries. On several medications my eyesight is 20/100. I go to bed at 8:30 so I can get sleep from peeing several times per night and have an enlarged prostrate. 

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7 minutes ago, Naz said:

I will add another.  Do you have any scars from Lawn Darts?

Have you yelled at kids to get off your front lawn?
Mostly, do you grunt/groan whenever to sit down, or get up?

Welcome!

I yell at kids all the time. It’s fun and they need to be learned the good way. Lawn darts were a blast and I need to ask my parents who are still alive where they are as my dad saved everything that could be worth something some day. I have a large beer can collection.

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6 minutes ago, Wonder35 said:

Geez, you guys are making me feel guilty. Yeah, I have old man arthritic aches and pains, pee twice a night and really, I mean really hate the word "like".  Like, you like know what I mean?

@Wonder35 your a stud. I know what you have done and what your doing and your my inspiration. 
 

I remember when there was valley speak and parents were getting their kids deprogrammed! Yes- the whole ‘like totally’ bullsheet was really big when I was a young adult, then there was the Frank Zappa song “Valley Girl”. Wow. 
 

keep goalering, @Wonder35

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7 hours ago, Dumpy said:

...I remember when there was valley speak and parents were getting their kids deprogrammed! Yes- the whole ‘like totally’ bullsheet was really big when I was a young adult, then there was the Frank Zappa song “Valley Girl”. Wow.
 

Actually, I believe that was his daughter, the cleverly-named "Moon Unit" Zappa (and you young'uns thought all the original names started in the new millennia!)

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9 hours ago, Dumpy said:

... I go to bed at 8:30 so I can get sleep from peeing several times per night and have an enlarged prostrate. 

Wait, we may have a winner -  did you mean simply peeing in the middle of the night or getting up to pee in the middle of the night? One would tend to indicate the are range we are looking at - you figure out which.

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3 hours ago, Colander said:

Wait, we may have a winner -  did you mean simply peeing in the middle of the night or getting up to pee in the middle of the night? One would tend to indicate the are range we are looking at - you figure out which.

Both

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4 hours ago, Colander said:

Wait, we may have a winner -  did you mean simply peeing in the middle of the night or getting up to pee in the middle of the night? One would tend to indicate the are range we are looking at - you figure out which.

What do I win?

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You "win" the privilege of being an old man - it's at the same level of notoriety as when you were in school and they picked teams and you ended up on a team not because you were picked but because you were the last one left. (OK - I'm not the only one that happened to on a regular basis right?)

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2 minutes ago, Colander said:

You "win" the privilege of being an old man - it's at the same level of notoriety as when you were in school and they picked teams and you ended up on a team not because you were picked but because you were the last one left. (OK - I'm not the only one that happened to on a regular basis right?)

They always knew to put me in right field unless the batter was left handed. I worked on my smoking skills in PE.  I am honored and privliged.

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They used to put me in goal in soccer because they thought I could do the least harm there. I remember running off the field at the end of one PE session where we won the game and one of the guys on my team chirping to his buddy on the other team "We beat you guys  - and we didn't even have a goalie"

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19 minutes ago, Colander said:

They used to put me in goal in soccer because they thought I could do the least harm there. I remember running off the field at the end of one PE session where we won the game and one of the guys on my team chirping to his buddy on the other team "We beat you guys  - and we didn't even have a goalie"

Thats a funny story. They liked to put my on basketball teams cause I always got in fights with this one kid he always talked tough and made fun of how short and dumpy I am and Id roll over him when he’d try a layup. Always said hed kick my ass and hed never make good on his threat to beat me up in the locker room. Dumb prick has had a few stays in the penitenchury.

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