Jump to content

Daily Chit-chat


seagoal

Recommended Posts

@MTH first things first - sorry dude. Even if you see it coming - doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

Speaking as a divorcee - if you were getting along a bit better you could both use the same lawyer. Doesn't sound like that was offered though. You know the lay of the land better than anyone if its worth trying to go that route. Sucks to flush money - but I'd tend to agree - best to hire a lawyer. Make sure you do your homework though as there are plenty that will nickel and dime you and drag things out to charge you more. Eight years ago I hired mine for $2000 out the door. Should disclaimer that don't have kids and I mostly just left with whatever was clearly mine (hockey equipment, tools, etc.) and left everything else (including the house and dog). It started out with a lawyer buddy of mine basically filing for free (and he likely would have helped had we just agreed on everything... which should have been a no brainer as I was entitled to MUCH more legally than I was "asking" for (I even caved on letting her keep my zero turn mower which was about the only "ask")) before she underhandedly served me with papers from HER lawyer.

So - needless to say - cover your six. If I didn't have ins with people I'd have been scrambling last minute before the court date and probably would have been in trouble. I would assume you know folks that have gotten divorced. I'd start by asking them about their lawyers and hopefully that'll help compile a list of maybes and some nos.

We all got your back on here.

Edited by chile57
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks boys.

I have a few friends that have been down this road and some others that are lawyers. My mom is pushing me to get a lawyer too. But my mom and my wife never really got along. lol.

My wife does well financially. Sadly, she isn't fun to deal with regarding finances. I don't even know how much money she has - which is really messed up! I'm sure she was scared that I would get half of her stuff, so she lawyered up and I'm sure is making every move possible in defense.

Honestly I never cared if my wife worked or had any money. Part of the reason why I know nada about what she has. Didn't really care.

It's been the longest 2+ months I ever had. On one hand every day I'm still married and have a family is a great day. I don't want it to end. On the other, I can't take much more of this. It's absolute torture.

I dread waking up every morning and living another day in this screwed up situation. Sad part is I get up at 4 am now every day when my wife is getting ready to leave. I used to make sure I would see her and talk with her every morning. Now I just wake up and think about losing her. Pretend I'm sleeping. Then I lay until its time to get my kids up for school.

Even now, I'm home working with the kids around. My wife usually gets home around 5:15 (It's 4 now). I'm looking at the clock knowing I have to see her and suffer through this in about an hour.

It's a nightmare to say the least.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds shitty to say the least - I'll be hoping/praying for a quick resolution for you brother. Some days will be tougher than others for sure. I remember getting emotional over the dog on a trip to pick up some things and my ex-wife just started in throwing daggers. Unfortunately the negativity can come to be a bit of solace at some point once you don't have to be exposed to it and you can appreciate the serenity once the stress of it all subsides. We're all pulling for you and will even give you a reprieve on any ball busting. Must have been difficult and yet cathartic to post here.

Unfortunately - all this speaks to another reason to lawyer up as you aren't really in your right mind to be dealing with the details this stuff entails. Might be better to just pay the money for a little bit of peace of mind. Good luck - keep all us posted on how you are doing.

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What terrible news. I know you got served papers, but is it too late for some counselling? Even if you do end up in a divorce, maybe being able to speak with a mediator at least would help ease the transition. It sounds like it came out of the blue for you so you had no clue and communication, so a start might help.

If divorce is inevitable though, you should get a lawyer for sure.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

57 minutes ago, johncho said:

What terrible news. I know you got served papers, but is it too late for some counselling? Even if you do end up in a divorce, maybe being able to speak with a mediator at least would help ease the transition. It sounds like it came out of the blue for you so you had no clue and communication, so a start might help.

If divorce is inevitable though, you should get a lawyer for sure.  

When she first dropped the divorce bomb to me - I asked for anything to help including counselling. While this was a shocker and world crushing for me; my wife has been preparing for it. So she was well down the road already for a divorce. Me? I was sitting in the yard enjoying life. So she told me it way too late for that and wants no part of it.

Why every day is torture I guess. 

I know it will get better. I have to really tell myself that often.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, chile57 said:

Sounds shitty to say the least - I'll be hoping/praying for a quick resolution for you brother. Some days will be tougher than others for sure. I remember getting emotional over the dog on a trip to pick up some things and my ex-wife just started in throwing daggers. Unfortunately the negativity can come to be a bit of solace at some point once you don't have to be exposed to it and you can appreciate the serenity once the stress of it all subsides. We're all pulling for you and will even give you a reprieve on any ball busting. Must have been difficult and yet cathartic to post here.

Unfortunately - all this speaks to another reason to lawyer up as you aren't really in your right mind to be dealing with the details this stuff entails. Might be better to just pay the money for a little bit of peace of mind. Good luck - keep all us posted on how you are doing.

 

 

My head is a mess. Random times I will be hit with the wave of emotion that comes when you think about the person who you've only ever loved and been with discarding you after 30 years. 

I grew up with her and been through so much. I don't even know what we'll have to do for the dogs. Jesus.

I guess I have to be thankful that I had her through all those amazing times. But, there's still so much more I want to do with her.

Maybe this would be easier if I was mad at her. I presume she has another interest and likely acted on it with him. That's the worst fear as a married man, right? Hard as it is for me to believe that she'd ever do that - I have to grasp that possible/likely nightmare reality and use that as motivation to get into this fight rather than get rolled over.

I spoke last night with a good friend who was divorced 10 years ago. He really helped.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel for you man. Hire the lawyer and save yourself some of the mindfuck (and potentially other assorted fucking). I'm not necessarily advocating you get angry (but hey - if it helps - go for it). I'm just suggesting don't let the past cloud the future and prepare as though you may be in a dogfight. Beats the alternative of getting caught with your pants down and getting fleeced.

Sounds like you got a good buddy to bounce things off of so that will be a big help. And then of course us assorted a-holes on the internet too.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's shitty news.  

I went through a divorce about 5 years ago, although I initiated it, my life was hell for just about a year or so leading up to the divorce.  I was with my ex since HS and we were together for ~15 years.  

You're in PA, right?  I didn't hire a lawyer, rather I came up with a settlement between the two of us that I felt was quite fair.  I earned significantly more than her and had the mortgage in my name, with the deed being in both names.  We split savings down the middle and I gave her a chunk of my 401k to buy her out of the house, with her agreeing to sign the title over to me.  

All in, I paid something like $250 for processing all the paperwork and court fees, and another $300 for a lawyer to handle the quit claim deed to get the house in my name.  It was certainly easier with no kids- the paperwork was pretty straightforward.  But PA makes it pretty easy to do on your own (at least in my situation).  

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish I could offer you some comfort. I am shocked to see this; you write more about your family than playing net so I can only imagine how painful this is for you.

Good advice up top here about protecting yourself and your rights to your kids. We are all here for you.

Great job, fellas, having MTH's back.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks gents. I appreciate all the help. It's great to hear.

Rolling through this day by day. The past day or so have been better. Far from back to normal - but I'll take what I can get. Monday and Tuesday morning were pretty crappy to say the least.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, johncho said:

If ever you're feeling down, maybe you can take a TRIP USING 📕🥤American Airlines 📱👉18508080012📱👉TickEt REsERvATiON🥤NuMBeR📕🥤|Moshup Beach|

 

edit: please don't ban me

You're telling me you're not enticed by these amazing deals? 

I know I sure am. Only cost me my SIN 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Anyone catch the NASCAR all star race last night? 

NASCAR held the race at a track they stopped using in 1996. North Carolina put some money up for restoring the place a few years ago and NASCAR came back in style. Cool to see an old place again decades later. Neat then and now gallery here.

07-2017-765x520.jpg

10-2023-780x520.jpg

 

Would be cool to see the major sports do this to some degree. Tough with the NHL as the old arenas usually get demolished once done with them.

This track was darn well near being demolished but people kept asking and other people listened. NASCAR is getting less popular every year, retreating back to what it once was may be what it needs to stabilize.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
On 5/4/2023 at 10:05 AM, johncho said:

If ever you're feeling down, maybe you can take a TRIP USING 📕🥤American Airlines 📱👉18508080012📱👉TickEt REsERvATiON🥤NuMBeR📕🥤|Moshup Beach|

 

edit: please don't ban me

I was scrolling through this thread, the emojis caught my eye and I almost deleted this post

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, coopaloop1234 said:

Good luck in Sweden @ThatCarGuy

I've been wanting to announce it but in all honesty I have no decent pictures to go with it lol

For those wondering, I've signed with a J20 team in Tumba all the way in Sweden. It's a tier 2 junior team directly connected to a division 1 (tier 3) professional team. Super excited to have this opportunity since I'd never been to Europe until I went to try out with the team a month or so ago. 

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...