Social Experiment

[bunnyman666]

I do quite a few social experiments when out and about. Many end up confirming what I have been seeing as a trend. In my humble opinion, people only care about themselves and can't be bothered to help others when the need arises.

Today, I was at the waiting area at a car wash. Many of the patrons were dressed smartly to go with their expensive vehicles, which included Mercedes Benzes and Teslas. Nobody was slumming it, as an executive office tower was a mere block away. 

One lady stood out in particular: a well-attired lady in very attractive clothing, expensive shoes (these look like they cost as much as some of my goalie gear), and a hand bag my wife would KILL to own. She had more invested in her jewellery than the blue book value of my plush, yet not overly ostentatious Ford Fiesta. The one caveat- the tag was hanging out of her dress!

There were other women who more than likely saw the tag hanging out. There were men standing right next to her. Yet not ONE person mentioned to this lady that her tag was hanging out of the back of her dress!

I finally had enough and excused myself and notified her that her tag was hanging out! I then went outside and waited for my chariot to be finished!

My only iniquity was that I did not say anything earlier, I admit; would you think that another lady could have told her what was going on? It would have been more appropriate for a lady to alert her to this fashion faux pas, in my blunt opinion.  

 By no means was this an emergency; however- it BEGS for this question: what would these people do if they were witnessing a violent crime? It makes me wonder...

Feel free to discuss. 

[Ghostender]

I agree that people are caught up in their own world – sometime due to necessity, sometimes due to apathy. To that end, even though it’s against my nature, I will try to be fair by saying perhaps no one noticed because they were caught up in their own worlds. With a person like that though, I also can’t help wonder if the tag being out wasn’t for brand-recognition (was she appreciative what you told her?)

Again, to be fair, I know a lot of people aren’t able to be as forthright as you and walk up to the person and mention it – although that again is a level of being in their own world (as well as possibly a self-confidence issue). I personally pride myself on being able to talk to people in those types of situations and applaud your actions.

It does make me think about this though: I am basically a self-taught driver* as my father wasn’t around when I was old enough to get my license. The funny thing is that, as a young kid I remember him saying something off the cuff once while driving (I don’t think he was trying to make one of those life lessons that parents try so hard to impart). I think of it often when drive, specifically: “a big part of driving is having consideration for others”. I realized that, when you see someone tailgating, cutting someone off (because they couldn’t be bothered to check that blind spot), not giving the right of way and even just not knowing how handle a situation because you don’t know the rules of the road (not understating right of way at a 4-way stop is a biggie in this neck of the woods)… it’s all just that – a lack of consideration for others. That mantra carries on into all things in life: at work, with the family, even at the rink. Heck, I frequent this forum because the comments are made with consideration for others (as opposed to other sites I have heard of - not naming any but I hear on one they talk about goalie gear a lot).

As far as your experiment is concerned, I don’t think it says all people are inconsiderate, but perhaps the percentage of people out there who help solely for the “intrinsic reward” is unfortunately low.

*Luckily, when I learned to drive, the “horseless carriage” was still a novelty, so there weren’t’ many other on the horse trails

[djtendy]

2 hours ago, bunnyman666 said:

  By no means was this an emergency; however- it BEGS for this question: what would these people do if they were witnessing a violent crime? It makes me wonder...

The violent crime concern you posit reminds me of something I learned/discussed frequently throughout my undergrad. I just graduated, lol, but we talked a lot about this in an eyewitness psychology class I took in 3rd year. If you have time, Google 'Bystander Apathy' or 'the bystander effect'. Studies were conducted based off of a poor women named Kitty Genovese, who was a victim of a violent crime (I won't go into details - but, if you do Google the effect/Kitty Genovese case, there will likely be some sensitive material discussed) and was lying on a busy street, if I remember correctly, surrounded by 2 apartment buildings, screaming for help - yet, nobody helped her and she eventually passed away on the street while she was completely ignored. Makes me sick, really, and obviously it's a more severe scenario in comparison to informing someone of a tag sticking out, but all too often people are "too scared to get involved" and it really makes me question some people's character. 

Anyways, studies confirmed that people often walk past people who need help for fear of getting involved in situations where they feel like they don't have time to help, etc. It's terrible, really.

[dreadlockgoalie]

The Kitty Genovese story has been somewhat "debunked" due to the misreporting of actual facts.  Pulled this off the wikipedia page:

Quote

In September 2007, the American Psychologist published an examination of the factual basis of coverage of the Kitty Genovese murder in psychology textbooks. The three authors concluded that the story is more parable than fact, largely because of inaccurate newspaper coverage at the time of the incident.^[14] According to the authors, "despite this absence of evidence, the story continues to inhabit our introductory social psychology textbooks (and thus the minds of future social psychologists)." One interpretation of the parable is that the drama and ease of teaching the exaggerated story make it easier for professors to capture student attention and interest.^[60]

I'm not sure I'd compare violent crime to a someone's tag hanging out of their clothing.  One is a benign and at worst embarrasing - ignoring it doesn't really make you a bad person.  The other is a traumatic, violent event.  Ignoring it would be pretty heartless but not getting directly involved it what most law enforcement would tell you to do, anyway. We might end up doing more harm than good.  But drawing a parallel between the two is a bit of an apples vs oranges comparo.

[bunnyman666]

1 hour ago, dreadlockgoalie said:

The Kitty Genovese story has been somewhat "debunked" due to the misreporting of actual facts.  Pulled this off the wikipedia page:

I'm not sure I'd compare violent crime to a someone's tag hanging out of their clothing.  One is a benign and at worst embarrasing - ignoring it doesn't really make you a bad person.  The other is a traumatic, violent event.  Ignoring it would be pretty heartless but not getting directly involved it what most law enforcement would tell you to do, anyway. We might end up doing more harm than good.  But drawing a parallel between the two is a bit of an apples vs oranges comparo.

I know what you're saying. And maybe it is an unfair comparison; however- I still wonder if the people I saw would intervene in a slightly less benign situation. 

Again- it's food for thought, that's all. 

Thanks for your contribution.

[bunnyman666]

2 hours ago, djtendy said:

The violent crime concern you posit reminds me of something I learned/discussed frequently throughout my undergrad. I just graduated, lol, but we talked a lot about this in an eyewitness psychology class I took in 3rd year. If you have time, Google 'Bystander Apathy' or 'the bystander effect'. Studies were conducted based off of a poor women named Kitty Genovese, who was a victim of a violent crime (I won't go into details - but, if you do Google the effect/Kitty Genovese case, there will likely be some sensitive material discussed) and was lying on a busy street, if I remember correctly, surrounded by 2 apartment buildings, screaming for help - yet, nobody helped her and she eventually passed away on the street while she was completely ignored. Makes me sick, really, and obviously it's a more severe scenario in comparison to informing someone of a tag sticking out, but all too often people are "too scared to get involved" and it really makes me question some people's character. 

Anyways, studies confirmed that people often walk past people who need help for fear of getting involved in situations where they feel like they don't have time to help, etc. It's terrible, really.

These same people may handle a terrible situation admirably; they may handle a violent situation better than I for all I know. 

Thanks for your contribution.

[bunnyman666]

5 hours ago, Ghostender said:

I agree that people are caught up in their own world – sometime due to necessity, sometimes due to apathy. To that end, even though it’s against my nature, I will try to be fair by saying perhaps no one noticed because they were caught up in their own worlds. With a person like that though, I also can’t help wonder if the tag being out wasn’t for brand-recognition (was she appreciative what you told her?)

Again, to be fair, I know a lot of people aren’t able to be as forthright as you and walk up to the person and mention it – although that again is a level of being in their own world (as well as possibly a self-confidence issue). I personally pride myself on being able to talk to people in those types of situations and applaud your actions.

It does make me think about this though: I am basically a self-taught driver* as my father wasn’t around when I was old enough to get my license. The funny thing is that, as a young kid I remember him saying something off the cuff once while driving (I don’t think he was trying to make one of those life lessons that parents try so hard to impart). I think of it often when drive, specifically: “a big part of driving is having consideration for others”. I realized that, when you see someone tailgating, cutting someone off (because they couldn’t be bothered to check that blind spot), not giving the right of way and even just not knowing how handle a situation because you don’t know the rules of the road (not understating right of way at a 4-way stop is a biggie in this neck of the woods)… it’s all just that – a lack of consideration for others. That mantra carries on into all things in life: at work, with the family, even at the rink. Heck, I frequent this forum because the comments are made with consideration for others (as opposed to other sites I have heard of - not naming any but I hear on one they talk about goalie gear a lot).

As far as your experiment is concerned, I don’t think it says all people are inconsiderate, but perhaps the percentage of people out there who help solely for the “intrinsic reward” is unfortunately low.

*Luckily, when I learned to drive, the “horseless carriage” was still a novelty, so there weren’t’ many other on the horse trails

You touch on many things I agree with wholeheartedly. 

She was appreciative. I could tell she felt a bit of a heel. If the brand was something well-known, I never had heard of it previously.

My wife has trouble doing these things, sometimes; she has also  asked me to help an older person trying get into the door some place, which then I profusely apologise for being rude and not helping them the second I saw trouble. Not doing that goes against my upbringing, and I get down on myself for not seeing past myself that day. 

As I see common decency go down the drain, I will see a young person being the considerate one, which makes my heart smile. If their parents are around, I make certain they know that they are raising a fine child. I know how corny that sounds, but that's me: Mr. Cornball. Of course I also get called Stuarto Pidasso, nick name Big Stu Pidasso a lot, as well.

 

 

[jayluv54]

On 6/13/2017 at 10:01 AM, bunnyman666 said:

I do quite a few social experiments when out and about. Many end up confirming what I have been seeing as a trend. In my humble opinion, people only care about themselves and can't be bothered to help others when the need arises.

Today, I was at the waiting area at a car wash. Many of the patrons were dressed smartly to go with their expensive vehicles, which included Mercedes Benzes and Teslas. Nobody was slumming it, as an executive office tower was a mere block away. 

One lady stood out in particular: a well-attired lady in very attractive clothing, expensive shoes (these look like they cost as much as some of my goalie gear), and a hand bag my wife would KILL to own. She had more invested in her jewellery than the blue book value of my plush, yet not overly ostentatious Ford Fiesta. The one caveat- the tag was hanging out of her dress!

There were other women who more than likely saw the tag hanging out. There were men standing right next to her. Yet not ONE person mentioned to this lady that her tag was hanging out of the back of her dress!

I finally had enough and excused myself and notified her that her tag was hanging out! I then went outside and waited for my chariot to be finished!

My only iniquity was that I did not say anything earlier, I admit; would you think that another lady could have told her what was going on? It would have been more appropriate for a lady to alert her to this fashion faux pas, in my blunt opinion.  

 By no means was this an emergency; however- it BEGS for this question: what would these people do if they were witnessing a violent crime? It makes me wonder...

Feel free to discuss. 

Clearly someone would have to look up from their phone long enough to even notice someone is standing there let alone notice an errant tag.  What you should have done is taken a picture of it and posted it to the car washes facebook and twitter pages, then someone might have noticed.  Funny coincidence though, the other day my wife and I were at our sons middle school graduation and the woman behind my wife noticed her tag was hanging out of her dress, she just reached down and tucked it back in for her.  Very nice gesture, however when my wife felt someones hand in the back of her dress and noticed it wasn't mine, she about jumped off the risers. I laughed and said "Welcome to the South!"

[bunnyman666]

6 hours ago, jayluv54 said:

Clearly someone would have to look up from their phone long enough to even notice someone is standing there let alone notice an errant tag.  What you should have done is taken a picture of it and posted it to the car washes facebook and twitter pages, then someone might have noticed.  Funny coincidence though, the other day my wife and I were at our sons middle school graduation and the woman behind my wife noticed her tag was hanging out of her dress, she just reached down and tucked it back in for her.  Very nice gesture, however when my wife felt someones hand in the back of her dress and noticed it wasn't mine, she about jumped off the risers. I laughed and said "Welcome to the South!"

LOL- that kind of charm nearly got me to Atlanta!!!!

There were a lot of noses in phones, for certain! 

If I were on Facecrack, I would have! But I am not there. That would have been funny!!!!!

 

[SaveByRichter35]

Furthering my opinion that people suck for the most part.