Major burn-out and performance drop - time to hang them up for a bit I guess...

[OldSchoolGoalie]

I came back out of retirement in September of 2022 and since then I've been playing anywhere from 3 to 5 games a week, both ice and ball (mostly ice). Prior to this I retired about 10 years back and ended up selling all my gear and quitting after finishing up my inline league after we won our 3rd championship. This time around I really found a spark to come back, and went through a few sets of gear to get back into the modern way of things and eventually ended up with my dream kit that I use for ice and another for ball. The major struggle was adapting to the the modern way of playing, and the gear from using my old school kit and playing essentially only stand-up. I did some coaching sessions which helped and oddly enough apart from butterfly slides when down I wasn't too bad.

The down ward spiral really hit me in mid 2023s, and got really worse when I went from shinny to an actual league where I got fixed up with a team that I had zero chemistry with, a lot of weird locker room drama, and no synergy on the ice. I had a test game with the group and honestly ignored my first impression and thought to not move forward, but really wanted to get things going again - big mistake! It pretty much made going out to any of these games dreadful and I started hating playing more and more. I attempted to counter act this by treating those games as practice but the negative social environment just made it more miserable, so I ended up quitting league play as of recent and just starting doing only shinny. On that note as time went on to the present my performance has gone wildly up and down to the point where I feel I have maybe 20% of my games where I'm actually on autopilot making saves and performing well not having to "think" as it would just all come naturally. Then I have 80% games where that subconscious part turns off either fully or at some point in the game, and I'm stuck trying to "react" to shots and playing extremely bad, even resetting to the basics just doesn't work anymore and trying to focus on one puck at a time. I actually found shinny a bit more hard due to the wild variance in skill and playing down just made it so much harder than up, but on that point playing too high without that autopilot kicking in means I'm trying to "react" to shots that happen so quick I end up being lit up like a Christmas tree.

Come to today, I look back on this and I've played through some injuries, done my fair share of back to back games in a day, and took almost any call to action when someone needed a goalie (my phone was always lighting up with requests - never had any trouble getting ice time), but the sense of duty to help various groups really didn't keep that flame going and I'm now at the point where I've probably lost most interest in playing. My last game I played a day ago I actually did very well, but about 20 minutes in I just lost focus and it all crumbled up and I couldn't wait to get off the ice and back home. The other problem with a lot of random groups is that lack of connection, I had a few regular ice slots which made it more enjoyable, and some ball hockey ones, but apart from those it was more or less getting out on the ice from some reps.

All my slots are pretty much done now as people are breaking until after the summer so I'm going to hang them up. There are a few slots still going but I'm at the point where I'll feel like going to a game, but once I roll into the dressing room I'm kind of checked out... not sure how to explain this. I guess the idea of playing is more appealing than actually playing. I'm not sure I'll sell my gear off as it took several sets to get both my ice and ball hockey stuff right -  I still need to do another skate upgrade, but at this point I'm pretty much done. I had some pretty memorable moments and made some very nice saves that I wont forget, but I think those are few and far between as time went on. Hopefully I'll find that spark again, not sure though, but it was an interesting return.

[dreadlocked1]

I would just try to take a few weeks to months but don't say you're done done.  You might get the spark back and you should give it a bit to make sure you want to be done.  

[RichMan]

@OldSchoolGoalie

Here's my take: I think that when you decided to come back, you expected to take off where you left, on a championship and high performances. That's clearly what DIDN'T happen. 

There's a huge difference between beer league games and pick-up/shinny. BLG means performing, dealing with pressure and team chemistry and emotions. Pick-up is no stress, no trophy, just some good banter and occasional bragging rights.

As spring is here and the season unwinds, you could take a break as @dreadlocked1 mentions, gather your thoughts and recalibrate. You could embark on a training program (strength, mobility, flexibility and mental preparation) 2-3 days a week until September comes around. Or you could jump into something completely different like softball or soccer or basketball or cycling or running and change the whole scenery. 

If you're like me, very competitive, letting go of BLG will be difficult. Despite the pressure, i love the challenge. But, if the stress is too much and you bring that shit back into your personal life, maybe it's time to let go and just enjoy shinny time. And when you play shinny, it doesn't have to be so serious. You can mess around, try new things, joke and poke fun on the ice, be a MAFOMGBBQ!!!!. He's a pro but still manages to enjoy the moment, win or lose.

Don't say it's over until you're actually ready

[Fullright]

My two cents: do not paint yourself into a corner. Good advice above. Take some time and catch your breath. Sounds like you had a lot hitting at once: gear, a crap culture, and some struggles on the ice. This happens to all of us over time. So a step back might be helpful.

You dont want to look back 5 years from now and say to yourself I wish I had kept playing. 

[TheGoalNet]

Everyone has slumps! As someone who tries to stay "competitive" in both hockey and golf, plus family, work, etc there are just going to be moments or stretches when we all stink. 2-4 weeks away from the rink and maybe sub in for a lower level game than you are used too? Might be a good confidence booster.

Maybe just play 1-2 times a week and skip the shinny skates? Sometimes less is more! 

[creasecollector]

Less is more sometimes, I agree. I would drop the # of skates per week and see how you feel physically, mentally, etc.

[OldSchoolGoalie]

9 hours ago, RichMan said:

@OldSchoolGoalie

Here's my take: I think that when you decided to come back, you expected to take off where you left, on a championship and high performances. That's clearly what DIDN'T happen. 

There's a huge difference between beer league games and pick-up/shinny. BLG means performing, dealing with pressure and team chemistry and emotions. Pick-up is no stress, no trophy, just some good banter and occasional bragging rights.

As spring is here and the season unwinds, you could take a break as @dreadlocked1 mentions, gather your thoughts and recalibrate. You could embark on a training program (strength, mobility, flexibility and mental preparation) 2-3 days a week until September comes around. Or you could jump into something completely different like softball or soccer or basketball or cycling or running and change the whole scenery. 

If you're like me, very competitive, letting go of BLG will be difficult. Despite the pressure, i love the challenge. But, if the stress is too much and you bring that shit back into your personal life, maybe it's time to let go and just enjoy shinny time. And when you play shinny, it doesn't have to be so serious. You can mess around, try new things, joke and poke fun on the ice, be a MAFOMGBBQ!!!!. He's a pro but still manages to enjoy the moment, win or lose.

Don't say it's over until you're actually ready

This is pretty much what happened. I'm thinking to just use this spring/summer to get back heavy into the gym again (I was a gym rat before so I kind of miss that) and really work on body building again and further my flexibility. I have some other issues off the ice sadly so I'm sure that has contributed to a lot of additional stress. Come fall I should probably book a few 1 on 1 coaching sessions and then off to find a new team.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I think I also just need to take it more easy and more than anything. I quit once before and I do regret to this very day that I sold my gear then... I had several sets I wish I kept! The amount of time it took me to get my current gear is probably the only reason I still have it regardless of wanting to take time away from hockey. Since September 2022 I went through 6 sets of pads, keeping 2 of them, and countless gloves, a few masks, and some chest protectors just to get the perfect feel and fit, not sure I would want to repeat that for awhile... Thanks to my OCD/Perfectionism... one wrong thing about the gear I don't like and I'll be up all night thinking of a way to fix it or buy something new. Probably the main reason you'll find I've posted a lot about my skate issue and still wouldn't give it up to find a solution (thankfully I'm at the point of it being good enough for now until I buy new ones).

My goal is to really find a chill team and play some quality hockey once a week. Finding that team will be a hit or miss I'm sure for a bit, and a lot of teams don't really do a test run before you sign up with them which makes it hard considering I'm also told to pay full league fees (the norm here). The last time was one where I was so fed up I just had to quit and took the loss.

[mik]

On 3/24/2024 at 12:34 PM, OldSchoolGoalie said:

The down ward spiral really hit me in mid 2023s, and got really worse when I went from shinny to an actual league where I got fixed up with a team that I had zero chemistry with, a lot of weird locker room drama, and no synergy on the ice. I had a test game with the group and honestly ignored my first impression and thought to not move forward, but really wanted to get things going again - big mistake! It pretty much made going out to any of these games dreadful and I started hating playing more and more. I attempted to counter act this by treating those games as practice but the negative social environment just made it more miserable, so I ended up quitting league play as of recent and just starting doing only shinny. On that note as time went on to the present my performance has gone wildly up and down to the point where I feel I have maybe 20% of my games where I'm actually on autopilot making saves and performing well not having to "think" as it would just all come naturally. Then I have 80% games where that subconscious part turns off either fully or at some point in the game, and I'm stuck trying to "react" to shots and playing extremely bad, even resetting to the basics just doesn't work anymore and trying to focus on one puck at a time. I actually found shinny a bit more hard due to the wild variance in skill and playing down just made it so much harder than up, but on that point playing too high without that autopilot kicking in means I'm trying to "react" to shots that happen so quick I end up being lit up like a Christmas tree.
 

Everyone of us have ups and downs in his game ( I got lit by 13! goals yesterday, but who cares today). Just my opinion, but I found this  as the main problem.  Do not quit now. Take some time off and when you are ready to return, play where you enjoy it and like it. BLG or pick-up, it doesn´t matter, if you like the play. But when you don´t, change the scenery and move away quickly from this kind of "teams".  

[froese]

1 hour ago, mik said:

Everyone of us have ups and downs in his game ( I got lit by 13! goals yesterday, but who cares today). Just my opinion, but I found this  as the main problem.  Do not quit now. Take some time off and when you are ready to return, play where you enjoy it and like it. BLG or pick-up, it doesn´t matter, if you like the play. But when you don´t, change the scenery and move away quickly from this kind of "teams".  

Completely agree with this as well. I'm very fortunate to have been playing with the same core group on my team for approx 15 years and they're all great guys. Makes all the difference in the world.

[OldSchoolGoalie]

So I got called out to play some pick up ball hockey with a group, was a few months since I played there and thought why not... I haven't been physically active since I made this thread.

Horrible experience. Apart from ball hockey not really being up there for me when it comes to playing in net when compared to ice or even inline... I had zero drive, no focus, and pretty much played like I just started as a goalie yesterday and couldn't stop a beach ball the size of NHL regulation net. The other issues with ball hockey I find as a goalie is that for me it harder to react and read the ball due to the rise, dips, curves and just odd bounces. When I play ice the puck is just more easier to read. Then you have mobility issues (I don't use sliders on these pads). This definitely was a negative experience.

On the drive home I regretted even bothering and haven't played hockey since my thread was made here on March 24. Probably wasn't a good idea to dip my pinky back into the pond with ball hockey first. All my ice slots are done until after the summer, but I probably should've just did stick and skate once a week to keep active and work on my edge work and do some drills.

[mik]

1 hour ago, OldSchoolGoalie said:

On the drive home I regretted even bothering and haven't played hockey since my thread was made here on March 24. Probably wasn't a good idea to dip my pinky back into the pond with ball hockey first. All my ice slots are done until after the summer, but I probably should've just did stick and skate once a week to keep active and work on my edge work and do some drills.

It is good idea to do some on ice pracitce. I don´t have practices on regular base anymore for a long time, just goalie camp / cilnic here, some regular training with players there. But whenever I feel my game is off (physically or mentally) or I have more time, I try to go for pracitce. Maybe it is strange, but I usually like goalie lessons more than actulal play. Cliché, but I´m enjoying every minute of it and it makes me to look forward for the play. 

Edited April 9 by mik

[OldSchoolGoalie]

7 hours ago, mik said:

It is good idea to do some on ice pracitce. I don´t have practices on regular base anymore for a long time, just goalie camp / cilnic here, some regular training with players there. But whenever I feel my game is off (physically or mentally) or I have more time, I try to go for pracitce. Maybe it is strange, but I usually like goalie lessons more than actulal play. Cliché, but I´m enjoying every minute of it and it makes me to look forward for the play. 

At this point I'll probably have more fun just skating around doing my stick handling drills, working on my passes, and doing edge work and working on my butterfly slides.   When funds open up more I wouldn't mind going back to my coach and doing an hour of 1 on 1 at least once per month.

[RichMan]

Just a heads up to indicate that things do change...after a poor record of 9 loses (maybe more, I stopped counting) and 2 ties after the holidays, last night was our final game in the series. We were dead last in the 4 team league standings and although feared in the beginning, not much was expected but the boys pressed on the pedal and I gave everything I got and we came out with a 5-2 win to close the season/series. I was fully gassed out. I did make a 2 pad stack high corner toe save deemed for sports highlights, alas no post-game interviews   

Just keep "keeping"  

[OldSchoolGoalie]

7 hours ago, RichMan said:

Just a heads up to indicate that things do change...after a poor record of 9 loses (maybe more, I stopped counting) and 2 ties after the holidays, last night was our final game in the series. We were dead last in the 4 team league standings and although feared in the beginning, not much was expected but the boys pressed on the pedal and I gave everything I got and we came out with a 5-2 win to close the season/series. I was fully gassed out. I did make a 2 pad stack high corner toe save deemed for sports highlights, alas no post-game interviews   

Just keep "keeping"  

Congrats on pushing through!  

[creasecollector]

9 hours ago, RichMan said:

Just a heads up to indicate that things do change...after a poor record of 9 loses (maybe more, I stopped counting) and 2 ties after the holidays, last night was our final game in the series. We were dead last in the 4 team league standings and although feared in the beginning, not much was expected but the boys pressed on the pedal and I gave everything I got and we came out with a 5-2 win to close the season/series. I was fully gassed out. I did make a 2 pad stack high corner toe save deemed for sports highlights, alas no post-game interviews   

Just keep "keeping"  

It's always fun how things can just turn around "just like that".

You just never know what the next game may bring.

[OldSchoolGoalie]

Bit of an update. I've done a few ball hockey games since but as a goalie. I generally prefer to play out (been a forward for a few decades so its a nice change up), but most groups are lacking goalies not players. Since my ice slots were done I didn't really have any options apart from city ice. I must say it was a pretty miserable experience. Coming from inline to ice and then going to ball hockey is just a major step back. I find the ball does some odd things, and on top of that my mobility is so bad that I'm usually getting beat on passes where in ice I would do a slide or a T-Push and be fine. I also find the edges of the pad stick to the floor and really hinder my side to side movement at times and even dropping down. Due to my highly competitive nature I think it is just best to avoid ball hockey all together because I'm always comparing it to how I would perform on ice and it just isn't good for me mentally. I don't like letting down those groups though that need a goalie, but it just isn't fun anymore. I'll just keep my 2nd set of pads as backups for ice in the event I need to repair something and don't have time between games.

On the plus side I did a few ice slots as some friends are getting the groups going again and I had a good time. This weekend I have a coaching session and another game so I'm looking forward to that.

I just need to change it up and really find the smaller wins out there and not get down too much overall. After this week I'll try to restrict myself to a game a week if possible. I cannot say 'no' sometimes... and my phone is ringing off the hook for me to come out and play.

[35RoloSmith41]

I played about 800 games+shinny over 4 years. Never took any time off and burnout hit me really hard. I was dreading going to every game. I went from excitement for games to being like "ahhh fuck i have hockey tonight"

I took 3 months off and informed my team that i wasn't playing summer or winter season. 

Now im just getting back into playing. I'm going twice a week to shinny where I take some edibles and have a few shots of vodka before going onto the ice. Just going out and having fun with no worry about the results. 

Its really helped me find my love for the game again. 

[mik]

On 5/10/2024 at 6:15 AM, OldSchoolGoalie said:

Bit of an update. I've done a few ball hockey games since but as a goalie. I generally prefer to play out (been a forward for a few decades so its a nice change up), but most groups are lacking goalies not players. Since my ice slots were done I didn't really have any options apart from city ice. I must say it was a pretty miserable experience. Coming from inline to ice and then going to ball hockey is just a major step back. I find the ball does some odd things, and on top of that my mobility is so bad that I'm usually getting beat on passes where in ice I would do a slide or a T-Push and be fine. I also find the edges of the pad stick to the floor and really hinder my side to side movement at times and even dropping down. Due to my highly competitive nature I think it is just best to avoid ball hockey all together because I'm always comparing it to how I would perform on ice and it just isn't good for me mentally. I don't like letting down those groups though that need a goalie, but it just isn't fun anymore. I'll just keep my 2nd set of pads as backups for ice in the event I need to repair something and don't have time between games.

On the plus side I did a few ice slots as some friends are getting the groups going again and I had a good time. This weekend I have a coaching session and another game so I'm looking forward to that.

I just need to change it up and really find the smaller wins out there and not get down too much overall. After this week I'll try to restrict myself to a game a week if possible. I cannot say 'no' sometimes... and my phone is ringing off the hook for me to come out and play.

If it is not fun to play ball hockey, don´t waste your time - just don´t do it. It is that simple. There were times when I played ball hockey almost every day (I was young ), but abandoned it years ago with similar feelings - it was not like on ice and was not fun anymore.  It only cost my time..  

Edited May 14 by mik

[OldSchoolGoalie]

8 hours ago, mik said:

If it is not fun to play ball hockey, don´t waste your time - just don´t do it. It is that simple. There were times when I played ball hockey almost every day (I was young ), but abandoned it years ago with similar feelings - it was not like on ice and was not fun anymore.  It only cost my time..  

Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact those groups are my friends I wouldn't even bother, but even now I'm still not wanting to put on the pads to play. I'll come out as a player anytime, but as a goalie it just sucks. Even ball hockey as a player is so sub-par to that of ice, but I find goaltending in ball compared to ice is far worse of an experience. We also run our games for 2 hours! So if the heat doesn't get you, surely the fatigue from 100s of shots and janky movement killing my joints.

[mik]

14 hours ago, OldSchoolGoalie said:

Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact those groups are my friends I wouldn't even bother, but even now I'm still not wanting to put on the pads to play. I'll come out as a player anytime, but as a goalie it just sucks. Even ball hockey as a player is so sub-par to that of ice, but I find goaltending in ball compared to ice is far worse of an experience. We also run our games for 2 hours! So if the heat doesn't get you, surely the fatigue from 100s of shots and janky movement killing my joints.

I understand what you mean. I´m with one team which had some  rough seasons (not a lot of players, late night time etc.) just because they are firends. They gave me oportunity years ago to continue to play, when I tought that I will hang it up. I would probably not play now without this.  Even when their regular goalie came back, I could stay with team and shared net with him 50/50, until he decided to retire. So I didn´t want to be the one who finish team by leaving them without goalie. Some games were "meh" because of lack of players and skill. But I enjoyed time on ice anyway. This season with them is great (not by score or my performance, just great to play there).   

But it is realy different when you just don´t want to play that sport/position at all. No matter of firends etc., this doesn´t make sense for me. 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 15 by mik