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Strong start! bad finish :(


RichMan

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I know, I know, it's just beer league hockey, right? Ah but here comes this thing called "eeeego"
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I could blame it on lack of conditioning. Bad sleep. Previous night's game. Physical fatigue. Mental fatigue. Pandemic time off. Too many carbs at supper. Pick and choose...

You feel good, you make the first save, "AWESOME!", and it's game on. Rob a few close ones, make a dive or two, and then first goal goes in. No problem. Reset.

Game goes on, a couple more big saves, one TSN Highlight Moment followed by a weak goal. And now it starts. It's been 20some minutes in the game and for some damn reason, everything is starting to fall apart. Sure, defensive back check is becoming a thing of the past. You're often left alone on some 2 on 1s or 0s. You try hard but now, what the brain wants you to do, the body dismisses and somehow becomes a simple spectator to your own demise.

Should I play deep? Do I take Hasek chances? Must I cheat on the pass only to get faked out of my skates on a simple slide-in goal? AHHHHH, the frustration! Most often this compounded by being a replacement goalie for which you wanna show your full experience and capabilities. Nada. You keep recalling the comment 15 minutes in "Holly shit man, what a steal!", guys on the bench banging their sticks on the boards in approval. You feel like Cloutier in Vancouver during the 2002 playoffs against the Red Wings.

"It's a damn good thing I'm not paid" you tell yourself. Depending on the group you're playing with, either they just shrug it off and thank you for coming out, or the dreaded silence in the change room. The pain and embarrassment.

Somehow, deep inside, far far within the reaches of our soul, we manage to suck it up, find a way to move passed it (at our own rate) and chuck it in the gear bag with the rest of humbling scars. Lick your wounds and come back another day to fight for your intrepid honour.

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I haven’t had a game that made me angry in a long, long time. Not to say that it couldn’t happen, but I take a generally “if I save it, good; if I don’t, try harder on the next shot” sort of attitude. In general, the way that I need to be more like in the rest of my life.

I used to be so competitive that the only time I had fun was when I was winning, yet I could pick apart every good performance to end up telling me that I didn’t do well enough. See a theme here?

I was in an environment where I had to turn in stellar performances. I am now *just* getting to the point that a bicycle ride is not a race.

I don’t want this to sound like I don’t care as I will ALWAYS care. I just suppress it. I take it all in. The sounds, the sights, the sensations and the smells. It’s just great for me to be there as I nearly died three years back. I am happy as hell to be out there, no matter how well I do.

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When it rains, it pours. As goalies, we tend to blame ourselves, but many times these quick series of goals are not our fault, but a burst of offense from the other team. So it's not that we lost our groove, but that they suddenly hit theirs. ...or maybe our "lucky charm" ran out of luck. Who knows. In any case, not much else to do but suck it up and move on.

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